I believe it’s more difficult to deal with the “everyone
getting pregnant except you” perception when you’re 42 rather than 22. After
all, we’re inundated with information that our biological clock is not only
tickling, it’s sounding the alarm.
Following is good coping advice on dealing with your emotions while trying to conceive, regardless of your
age.
Please note: I am not endorsing any or receiving payment for any of the products found in the reference articles. I am mainly citing the article for reference.
Please note: I am not endorsing any or receiving payment for any of the products found in the reference articles. I am mainly citing the article for reference.
Don’t
hold it in
While
it’s not necessarily a good idea to unleash all that pent up anger and
frustration at a pregnant family member of friend, it’s also not a good idea to
keep it all inside either. Find an acceptable way to unleash your anger and
sadness. Write in a journal, go for a run, even have a good cry every now and
then.
Be honest with your feelings
Jen
Brandon of Orange County, California, has struggled for nearly four years to
have a second child. She’s suffered multiple early miscarriages, taken three
rounds of Clomid, undergone five cycles of artificial insemination, and
weathered two surgeries. All she has to show for it is a huge hole in her bank
account. “I try not to be bitter,” she says, “but sometimes when I see a
pregnant woman, I think, ‘I hate pregnant women!’” Dr. Madeline Licker Feingold, PhD, a
reproductive medicine psychologist and fertility counselor based in Berkeley,
California, says, “It’s a normal, natural, negative thought. It’s the pain and
grief speaking.”
Source: BabyZone (no longer operational)
Throw yourself a pity party…but
don’t overdo it
Yes,
you can feel sorry for yourself. “I do believe in throwing pity parties,” says
Shoshana Bennett, PhD, a clinical psychologist. You don’t even have to stop at
one pity party. But here’s the trick:
You want to end on a positive note each time, or else it could lead to more
depression. So pick a time and place and let it all out -- cry, yell, write in
a journal -- however it is that you can get your feelings out. But give
yourself a time limit: Party’s over in 15 minutes, that kind of thing.
Skip the shower
If
you don’t feel comfortable attending all of the baby showers, gender reveal
parties, bringing home baby parties, etc, don’t go. Simple as that. If the
person who invited you is a truly good friend, they will understand. And, if
they’re not, who cares? Send a gift if you feel like it, but don’t subject
yourself to pain and being uncomfortable if you are not ready to deal with it.
You don’t have to feel guilty about this one, you get a free pass!
Join a community
“It’s
important to keep in mind that you’re in very good company,” says Shoshana
Bennett, PhD, a clinical psychologist. “Connecting with a group of women in the
same situation can be very useful, as long as it’s a group that’s positive.
Make sure everyone is supporting each other and not just complaining and
bringing each other down.” Not only can the other women help boost your
confidence, they can be sounding boards when you’re stressed. They can also
help you with fertility info that you may not have known. You can really
identify with the other ladies and find a great support system. (Cynthia's note: I suggest InSeasonMom on Facebook)