Most of us first time moms over 40 worry about how old we will be when our children are in high school, college, married or you name it. I'm encouraged by women who gave birth in their 40s more than 20 years ago and who are still going STRONG like Dr. Stephanie Mines .
Name: Stephanie Mines
Current or former profession(s): Psychologist/Writer/Educator ~ in addition to these I am now a Principal Investigator in clinical trials for the treatment of autism. I continue with all the previous professions as well. I am writing a book on sensory integration.
PREGNANCY
InSeason Mom Cynthia: How long were you trying to get pregnant?
Stephanie: I wasn't trying to get pregnant! Actually I was trying NOT to get pregnant! So much for thinking I was in charge of that decision!
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?
Stephanie: I was 45 at the time I got pregnant but had not even shown a sign of premenopausal symptoms so I knew I was fertile. My cycles were strong and dependable. Therefore I was very conscientious about birth control as I was in the peak of my career and did not think it was a good time to conceive.
SUPPORT
The Medical Community
InSeason Mom Cynthia: How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?
Stephanie: I had both a physician and two midwives as I wanted (and did) have my baby at home. My physician was a friend, as were my midwives. They were supportive. But the rest of the medical community was not. Everything I encountered related to me as "at risk" due my "advanced age"! I was not seen as an individual. I was seen as a statistic. I was extremely healthy (and still am) and I flourished during my pregnancy as did my baby. This did not seem to take the stigma of my "old age" away.
People projected worries and fears onto me and I had to be conscientious to not allow these to penetrate me or my baby's world. I knew we were healthy and safe. I knew my own body and I stayed in ongoing communication with my baby.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
InSeason Mom Cynthia: Who was the first person you told about your pregnancy and why? What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?
Stephanie: I did not change midwives or doctors but I did change husbands! My husband at the time was NOT supportive. He felt I was "too old". He was very concerned about the health of our baby and insisted on an amnio. He was the first person I told about the pregnancy, which came as a shock to both of us. Once the amnio showed a healthy baby, he was accepting and even elated, but we divorced when our child was two years old. That first reaction of his hit me hard. I am now very happily remarried.
My mother was outraged at my pregnancy. She considered it, and my decision to have my baby at home, completely irresponsible. My friends were very supportive.
LABOR AND DELIVERY
InSeason Mom Cynthia: Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?
Stephanie: Yes, we took childbirth classes and they were very helpful. I was the oldest one in the class!
InSeason Mom Cynthia: Where did you give birth?
Stephanie: At home.
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What do you remember most about the birth experience?
Stephanie: It was completely ecstatic. I was only in labor for six hours. Everything went beautifully. My daughter and I bonded deeply, and she bonded with her father as well. It was a gorgeous experience that I treasure.
I AM A MOM
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you compensate for this fear?
Stephanie: All of the moms of my daughter's friends are younger than me and not so established in their professions so we have less to share. My daughter's friends love me though so this doesn't seem to really matter!
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?
Stephanie: I love staying young with my daughter and feeling current with the world of her peers. It is a blessing!
InSeaon Mom Cynthia: How has becoming a mom changed you? How could it not?
Stephanie: This is a path of growth, learning, deep fulfillment and selflessness.
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?
Stephanie: Go for it! You are wiser, more patient, have more resources and can count your blessings more readily. There is nothing to stop you! Stay healthy and thrive!
InSeason Mom Cynthia: Any additional comments?
Stephanie: I am deeply grateful for the gifts and challenges of motherhood. My experience as a parent constantly deepens my compassion and feeling of connection to this exciting, rapidly changing world. I am honored to be a steward for the children of the future.
Name: Stephanie Mines
Current or former profession(s): Psychologist/Writer/Educator ~ in addition to these I am now a Principal Investigator in clinical trials for the treatment of autism. I continue with all the previous professions as well. I am writing a book on sensory integration.
PREGNANCY
InSeason Mom Cynthia: How long were you trying to get pregnant?
Stephanie: I wasn't trying to get pregnant! Actually I was trying NOT to get pregnant! So much for thinking I was in charge of that decision!
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?
Stephanie: I was 45 at the time I got pregnant but had not even shown a sign of premenopausal symptoms so I knew I was fertile. My cycles were strong and dependable. Therefore I was very conscientious about birth control as I was in the peak of my career and did not think it was a good time to conceive.
SUPPORT
The Medical Community
InSeason Mom Cynthia: How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?
Stephanie: I had both a physician and two midwives as I wanted (and did) have my baby at home. My physician was a friend, as were my midwives. They were supportive. But the rest of the medical community was not. Everything I encountered related to me as "at risk" due my "advanced age"! I was not seen as an individual. I was seen as a statistic. I was extremely healthy (and still am) and I flourished during my pregnancy as did my baby. This did not seem to take the stigma of my "old age" away.
People projected worries and fears onto me and I had to be conscientious to not allow these to penetrate me or my baby's world. I knew we were healthy and safe. I knew my own body and I stayed in ongoing communication with my baby.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
InSeason Mom Cynthia: Who was the first person you told about your pregnancy and why? What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?
Stephanie: I did not change midwives or doctors but I did change husbands! My husband at the time was NOT supportive. He felt I was "too old". He was very concerned about the health of our baby and insisted on an amnio. He was the first person I told about the pregnancy, which came as a shock to both of us. Once the amnio showed a healthy baby, he was accepting and even elated, but we divorced when our child was two years old. That first reaction of his hit me hard. I am now very happily remarried.
My mother was outraged at my pregnancy. She considered it, and my decision to have my baby at home, completely irresponsible. My friends were very supportive.
LABOR AND DELIVERY
InSeason Mom Cynthia: Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?
Stephanie: Yes, we took childbirth classes and they were very helpful. I was the oldest one in the class!
InSeason Mom Cynthia: Where did you give birth?
Stephanie: At home.
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What do you remember most about the birth experience?
Stephanie: It was completely ecstatic. I was only in labor for six hours. Everything went beautifully. My daughter and I bonded deeply, and she bonded with her father as well. It was a gorgeous experience that I treasure.
I AM A MOM
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you compensate for this fear?
Stephanie: All of the moms of my daughter's friends are younger than me and not so established in their professions so we have less to share. My daughter's friends love me though so this doesn't seem to really matter!
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?
Stephanie: I love staying young with my daughter and feeling current with the world of her peers. It is a blessing!
InSeaon Mom Cynthia: How has becoming a mom changed you? How could it not?
Stephanie: This is a path of growth, learning, deep fulfillment and selflessness.
InSeason Mom Cynthia: What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?
Stephanie: Go for it! You are wiser, more patient, have more resources and can count your blessings more readily. There is nothing to stop you! Stay healthy and thrive!
InSeason Mom Cynthia: Any additional comments?
Stephanie: I am deeply grateful for the gifts and challenges of motherhood. My experience as a parent constantly deepens my compassion and feeling of connection to this exciting, rapidly changing world. I am honored to be a steward for the children of the future.