Delayed Mothehood: A Selfish Choice?


When women give birth in their late thirties or in their forties, it is not necessarily the result of a lifestyle choice -- putting off motherhood for career reasons or from a desire to "have it all." Nor should they be accused of selfishness or taking undue health risks. Kirsty Budds, psychologist and study findings featured in Science News http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/09/120903143056.htm

If you’ve read my blog for longer than a minute or visited the website, you know that I seldom watch or listen to any television or radio program that features giving birth after 35 or 40. Most of them seem to have one agenda: show that women who give birth after 35 are selfish, too career-focused, put themselves and unborn children at risk. 

Since the inception of InSeason Mom in October 2005, I have met (online or across the telephone) scores of first time moms over 35 and 40. I have never met one who intentionally waited to have a baby until she was over 35.  While I was pleased to read Psychologist Budds’ findings, I was not surprised. The media's portrayal of older moms is so far from the truth that they might as well be talking about women who live on the planet Pluto. (Think about that one for a moment and you’ll get it. )


I believe education is one of the key components in erasing ignorance about a people, a thing or an idea.  I welcome more objective (updated) research on first time moms in their late thirties or in their forties. I have little doubt that research will find the following statement by Psychologist Budds accurate: 

 "For a lot of women it (motherhood after 40) isn't a selfish choice but is based around careful decisions, careful negotiations and life circumstances such as the right partner and the right financial position." 

 University of Huddersfield (2012, September 3). Late motherhood: A selfish choice?. ScienceDaily. Retrieved September 19, 2012

6 comments:

  1. Hi Cynthia.
    When I gave birth to Aria(my first and only)I was 34. I had a C-section. Thanks God he is healthy.
    When I take a look the marriages around and kids which are not living in good conditiıons, unsafe, financially in hard statuations, suffering because of seperations and the results of them..like moms and dads are enemies of each other..
    Late motherhood is not the only risk for a child.

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  2. Yonca,I'm thanking God that Aria is healthy and has such a wise mom! I'm going to post your quote on InSeason Mom on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/InSeason-Mom/127950410596026
    Thanks for commenting.

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  3. thanks for sharing..

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  4. Thanks for letting me know that you appreciate this post!

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  5. Yonca, that IS a great and true thought.

    The quote at the end is one that I can relate to. My marriage was "later" in life; I wanted a husband and full time father for my kids. For me, having a baby without a spouse would have been selfish because deep inside, I knew it would have been a desperate act... for me. I feel that I didn't have a choice to have children earlier and would have done other things in life for fulfillment had my marriage and children not happened.

    Another good post as "food for thought" Cynthia.

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  6. Anita, I agree with your comments 100%. Well-said.

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