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Being pregnant and over 40 often makes a woman feels like she is the new girl. She no longer fits in her social circle. Her friends may be planning their children’s wedding or college location while she is planning a birth location. Friends may be talking about joys of the “empty nest” while she is preparing for the heavenly scents and sounds of a newborn.
What can a pregnant woman over 40 do to overcome the feeling of isolation?
1) Embrace your season in life. This is your special season for conception and birth that the Creator has given you. Your girlfriend or mother’s may have given birth much younger. However, you are not your mama or your girlfriend. You are unique. Appreciate it.
2) Join a local or online support group for pregnant women over 40. You will find many good groups online. If the online groups don’t fit your style, establish a local group.
3) Be encouraged by research. A recent national report found birth rates falling in virtually every age group of women in their childbearing years — except for those between 40 and 50. The group aged 40 to 44 had its largest birth rate since 1967.
4) Choose your thoughts wisely. Like a gardener who pulls the weeds out of her flowerbed, pull the negative thoughts from your mind. Replace them with positive and uplifting thoughts.
I encourage you to try these suggestions because even the “new girl” eventually adapts to her changing environment.
To the women you speak of:
ReplyDeleteWhen I was pregnant at 37, 40, and 42, most of my lifelong friends had already had their children, but we still had things to talk about. I'd ask them about their lives and vice versa. True friends will listen, even when it is something that they can not currently relate to.
Also, I found myself becoming friends with younger women. So I was 40 and they were 32. It was okay. We had the baby thing in common. :)
Good advice, Cynthia.
Anita, you're right about true friends. They are a blessing. Thanks for adding a tip that I forgot to include: become friends with younger women. I don't know how I missed that tip because one of my good friends that I met through my daughter is young enough to be my daughter. However, we have so much in common!
ReplyDeleteThanx for your encouragement! I DO feel alone, also because I live in a small Dutch town, with all mums in their twenties (been there, done that:-)
ReplyDeleteI'm almost 46 and I have an almost 2-year old.
Midlife Mama,I'm glad that you were encouraged and thanks for commenting. Never forget that there are many women around the world who are in their mid to late 40s who have 2-year-olds or are giving birth at this very moment! I just visited your blog. You have a handsome little son.
ReplyDeleteWow, I've never done the blogging thing until now. I finally found women who are feeling the same way that I am. I had an unexpected pregnancy at 40 and was feeling very alone. My circle of friends all have older children or no children. I too am finding new, younger friends because they are the best support for me right now. I'm looking forward to talking with other moms who understand my situation.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts. We're never as alone as we often think. I've been encouraged by my friendship with younger moms, too. Happy New Year!
ReplyDelete