Pregnancy Over 40: Survival Tips

Realize that you are not alone

Although reports vary when citing the recent number of women giving birth at age 40, there’s no disagreement that the number of mothers giving birth at age 40 or older has doubled in the last several decades.

Now is the best time ever to be a first time mom over 40. There are several good resources including books, compact discs, digital video disks and online support groups. Almost every state in the U.S. and many cities have local support groups for moms over 35.
Take comfort, my sisters while you may be the only expectant mom over 40 in your circle of friends or small community, you are far from being alone.

Choose an obstetrician or midwife who doesn’t view over 40 pregnancy as a problem.

Age alone is not an indicator that there will be a problem with your pregnancy. Ask your prospective health care provider if he or she has concerns about pregnancy over 35. Listen carefully to make sure the concerns are medically based rather than opinion based.

Opinion-based concerns are those that do not have any medical validity. Your health care provider may be concerned that collectively the medical history of pregnant women over age 40 shows an increased risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, cesarean birth and chromosomal defects.

Remember that these studies are based on the results of midlife pregnant women as a group and are not based on your individual medical history. Select an obstetrician or midwife who respects your right to have your pregnancy viewed individually.

Guard your mental health

When any woman becomes pregnant, everyone from family members to strangers in the grocery store offer advice. As an older expectant mom, you will hear an even wider-range of comments. Many will tap into your insecurity of being too old to give birth or ask how old you will be when your baby goes to first- grade, becomes a teenager, get married and so forth.

How do you handle so much negativity during a time when you are most vulnerable? The first thing to remember is your pregnant body is going through physical as well as emotional changes. Comments that you may have laughed off during your pre-pregnancy state may now send you in tears. Therefore, it’s important to surround yourself with positive books and people. Take a minute to read a funny book, article or watch a comedy.

Next, have a comeback for the well-meaning folks. For example, when one ask how you will be in five years when your baby enters first grade or thirteen years when your baby goes to college, ask them how old you will be in this length of time if you didn’t give birth. Hopefully, they’ll get the point. We grow older whether or not we pursue motherhood or other dreams in our late 30s or 40s.

And if giving a polite response doesn’t work, tell them as we do in the South, “to mind their own business.”

I wish you “Happy Mothering.”


  1. This is a great post. Thank you. I have copied this one for my future reference. I have no idea how people how us will respond if and when I get pregnant. But hopefully, I get to find out!!

  2. I saw an interesting remark in this column

    "Some critics discourage older women from having kids, because they may die before the children are grown. With increased life expectancies today, you are more likely to live until this child reaches adulthood, than a 25 year old mom was, a century ago."

    Puts things in a different perspective, doesn't it?

  3. A nice blog here. Helping and encouraging 40+ people who desire a child is a good manner. We know that some women says that it is difficult to get pregnant. Everyone can conceive a child if they put a good effort on it. Here my advice to get pregnant fast. The best time to have a sex intercourse is while the women in fertilized period. The chance to get pregnant is high. So give it a try.

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